Thursday, May 03, 2012

My Spiritual Recovery

I am hesitant to write about this because I am in the midst of the journey, like the valley of it all which is good and hard, but I am uncomfortable treading back to how I used to think  (or rather was 'supposed to think') and it feels uncomfortable treading forward not sure of what I think, but knowing there is so much more. I've had lots of long talks as of late with the Yankee Gal Sister of mine, who is holy and grounded and I utterly respect, now onto..

Now, the God I heard about in Sunday School and was taught about at home seemed so foreign, so distant. The stories of burning bushes, Moses parting the Red Sea, on and on. That was for the "bible times" not for us. This is how I filtered it all. My journey so far has taught me different, things that aren't meant to be... are, spiritual awakenings and Holy, God filled awe-wonder moments have and are happening. They have changed the way I view God. I've had women giving me scripture that God had given me not ever knowing He had given it to me, like a confirmation. Isaiah 61 to be exact.

Does God actually move and speak to His people today? Yes. Does he give us scripture and confirm that? Yes. Gifts from the Holy spirit, a cup immersed and overflowing...we all have the Holy Spirit in us from the time we are saved, but how often are we going to the wellspring to bring forth our gifts and asking to receive blessings, trusting and surrendering to Him?! How often do we really believe miracles can and will happen? Have we bought into our western culture and been able to explain a God, who is a God of mystery, away?! I really don't have answers. Hence why I  am in a spiritual crisis of sorts, asking myself hard questions and not resting on my own laurels, but depending He will continue to reveal Himself in unexplainable ways.

I am beginning to come to the conclusion that it is MY own journey. Reading scripture...asking God...silent moments..Him whispering in my heart and whispering through others. Not in a hokey way, but a reverent amazing-awe- filled experience, all because I am stepping out on faith and looking beyond myself into Something so much bigger, better and greater to show me the way. I am begging of God to reveal Himself in the supernatural, not bc He has anything to prove to me, but so I can experience and proclaim more of His merciful acts and His glory.

The following is written by a man named Sam Storms, who my sister told me about. From what I understand he speaks at PCA and Vineyard Churches..hmmmm. Very iinteresting...

"Nowhere does Paul (in the Bible) suggest that signs and wonders were exclusively or uniquely apostolic. My daughter once took dance lessons and especially enjoyed ballet. Although only 10 years old at the time, she had incredibly strong and well-developed calf muscles. Indeed, it might even be said that the “sign” of a ballet dancer is strong calf muscles. But I would never argue that only ballet dancers display this physical characteristic. I only mean to say that when taken in conjunction with other factors, her lower leg development helps you identify her as one who dances on her toes. Likewise, Paul is not saying that signs, wonders and miracles are performed only through apostles, but that such phenomena, together with other evidences, should help the Corinthians know that he is a true apostle of Jesus Christ.

Therefore, the fact that miraculous phenomena and certain of the charismata served to attest and authenticate the message of the gospel in no way proves or even remotely suggests that such activities are invalid for the church subsequent to the death of the apostolic company."

To Be Continued....

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