Friday, February 24, 2012

The Pharisee of Pharisee's and more...

I am a late bloomer. A late bloomer in all area's and feel like I am really awakening to how to live life now at the ripe age of 34. Somewhere down the line I think I might have missed the memo. Now I am just thankful I got it and can start applying it and blooming...which leads me to my prior view of others and how forever I lumped people into categories. I still struggle with this. In fact I lumped a lady, who I since have gotten to know, in the category of materialistic and snotty. She LOOKS perfect. Perfect house, in perfect location, designer jeans size 2 or maybe a 0, fancy cars....and drum roll....she loves Jesus, fiercely. She has realized ALL those things have been fillers. Idols. Addictions. Materialism. Whatever you want to call them. She admits she struggles with insecurity, but yet understands the Lord loves her as she is and has been set free from these things that used to define her.

Can I get a Yes And Amen. I think, maybe, I might become charismatic.

Jesus changes people. He changes the rich, he changes the poor. He changes the drunk and the legalist. No one, and this took a while to really sink in, is above or below me, or you for that matter. We all struggle. Christians struggle. I struggle with judging the ones that seem shallow, worship traditions and theology in an unhealthy way and judge others. The Pharisee's. And you know what...I am a Pharisee of Pharisee's. I am slowly grasping this and stepping out of denial that I am NOT better, nor do I understand the gospel in ways they don't. Everyone has a story and God can move and change people who I think will never admit they got "junk". Maybe God has led me out of Egypt to share it with those still in Egypt, but who don't even know they are there. Maybe if I can have boldness and profess the work Christ has done in my life, it can give relief and freedom to those who are still trying to save themselves and into the light of honesty they can begin to walk....Here is a quote I saw on Daymark's Counseling page (I spent many a sessions on their couch)
Counseling is fabulous people. Embrace it. We all need healing and a little guidance!

 "The pious fellowship permits no one to be a sinner. So everybody must conceal his sin from himself and from the fellowship. We dare not be sinners. Many Christians are unthinkably horrified when a real sinner is suddenly discovered among the righteous. So we remain alone with our sin, living in lies and hypocrisy…" Dietrich Bonhoeffer

I long to love and show grace and mercy to pious people. Somewhere I heard "you know you get grace when you can give it to someone who thinks they don't need it". Yes Lord, grant me this.

On another random note, I am learning little surrenders are acts of worship for me. As in....drumroll again...keeping my house in order. I saw a post going around FB that said "why do they want dinner every single night?" and a lady sobbing on her couch.
Again. AMEN.
BUT God has blessed me with my beloved banshee's to feed, bathe and care for them and my house.  I can do this as an act of honoring what he has given me... and here is where it gets personal...I am lazy when it comes to this, which is an act of self worship. It doesn't mean it isn't hard or that I can't or don't cry, but when I can change my focus into I am worshipping God by cooking the banshee's a healthy meal and bathing them AGAIN.... my perspective can change and the ordinary becomes a gift. For those who have a hard time understanding why that would be a struggle, and for those who notice how others don't bathe or feed their banshee's to a certain standard,  an act of worship for you might be to loosen up. Letting your house be messy and taking your own banshee's, and yourself for that matter, to eat some doughnuts and realizing your act of worship might be releasing control over  micro managing your home and family, because the drive to do all and be all for your family is an act of self worship as well.
It all depends on how your pendulum swings and where you struggle. It is a personal matter and it ALL lies in the heart in doing or not doing things, and only God can be the judge of that.
Bottom line.
And a great verse Matthew 23:27
 "In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness."

And on that note, the weather has been FABULOUS here. Tinkerbell's cottage morphed back into a tree house yesterday and the fresh air drenched the house. I can't wait for spring. I've also taught the banshee's how to play war and speed, which both sound really shady, but they are very fun card games. Lots of hands have been dealt around here lately.

Our neighborhood flower garden in the works, less than a block from our house.
From the Ghetto to Mayberry.

 I will forever remember Hudson's childhood as his Jedi years, his imagination is wild and grand!
 He is truely in a battle (in his mind) at this moment.
Popcorn and cards. A typical afternoon!

Crazy love.
They all yell and scream, push and pull, make up and do it all over again.

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