Ramblings

 As I was contemplating my day, I looked at my planner and written on the top I have written a quote. It reads...."ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives"....No doubt that was divine intervention. I struggle with all of these every day at some point and time if not often, if I am honest. What a simple concept, but a depth of meaning. Divorced from self-pity... I am pretty good at feeling sorry for myself. I also would like to say I am never dishonest, but often I am the most dishonest with myself and not looking at my faults and being blinded by others defects. If I want to change things, people or places that affect me, I need to do my part in changing and let the rest be up to God. Always a good lesson to be reminded of. I can not change another, nor is it my responsibility, praise God or we would all be on a sinking ship.

 Onto self-seeking....what a bottomless pit of misery that I chase after daily. It never is enough, it never feels me up and I become a discontent, irritable person. Sadly, I still do a lot of self-seeking. A lot. To not be a self-seeker feels counter intuitive in the culture we live in. I need to be honest about these things and not only honest, but repentant of them. I am reminded of the three A's. Awareness, Acceptance and Action. Often times I am aware, I do accept this is how I am, but stop there. The year of Little Surrenders 2012 is this today for me... making a daily, conscious effort to acknowledge my junk, accepting that I can't change them myself and being willing and open to doing God's will in changing these core defeats so that I might live in freedom. Which brings me to a favorite verse...

Galatians 5:1
 "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery."